When Vice Consul Khrystina emailed to invite me as one of the speakers to a New England outreach event for the youth, I was honored and thrilled but at the time I started to question myself: ‘hmmm…what did I do to be considered as one of the speakers for a nationally renowned event for mentoring and leading second generation Fil-Americans?”
Then I brought myself back to Khrystina’s email and I tried to understand more of what I was requested to do for that particular - but I could not yet find my solid answer.
Surely, as one of a few Filipino public school leaders in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, that was probably one (check) reason.
Maybe, Atty. Jennifer Colliflores’ brief introduction about my supposed-to-be-achievements did it, (check).
Or, maybe because my LinkedIn profile says a lot about my public service involvements (check).
But then, yesterday while I was finishing this presentation – my daughter, Tala asked me, “Mommy I can not understand why are you still writing when you are sick?”
Then the conversation went on:
I said: “Well, I am writing because I need to make sure I am prepared for tomorrow’s event.”
Tala said: “But you are sick.”
I said: “Well, I choose to go to this event.”
She asked: “Why do you have to go?”
I said: “It is a big event and I am going to be one of the speakers.”
She asked (again): “So, why are you the speaker?”
Then I found myself answering the question I have been asking my self and I told her: “Because I am a Filipino and it is my responsibility as a Filipino citizen to be there. I choose to show up.”
Then – she said “Ahhhh”
So – for those of you who are here who took some time out of their busy schedule on a Saturday to join us today – we thank you.
For those of you have chosen to volunteer and be part of this event, we thank you.
For our youth leaders and other Filipino community leaders in the area who are with us – thank you.
But let me tell this to you – unfortunately, being a Filipino is not merely about showing up. (ouch!)
Nor is the only qualification why we are all here. (ouch ulit)
Yes, showing up for today’s event is already a commitment to show our pride as Filipinos.
Yes, being short, brown and cheerful totally makes us look adorable and nice!
But then the question becomes: is that all there is to being a world-class remarkable Filipino? What, do we do as a Filipino community to elevate our status, to be known, to be remarkably recognized around the world?
WHO OR WHAT IS A REMARKABLE FILIPINO and HOW DO WE BECOME ONE?
Being in Massachusetts for 10 years, I know that Filipinos either first or second generations are known for many things – Taking my husband’s perspective, being a Filipino in a predominantly white part of the United States you can’t help but be talked about – from Manny Pacquiao to Imelda Marcos and to the number of medical staff workers that we have in this states and the beautiful women we have. Here in New England, we are being talked about as people who are highly-skilled, highly educated and who communicate very well. We are by the way the pearl of the orient – which makes us even more special.
But beyond Manny Pacquiao, the visit of Anthony Bourdain to Manila, the Pope’s magnificent visit and the many typhoons that have plagued the country in the past few years – what are we, the Filipino citizens truly want to be known for?
Again, what do we truly want to be known for?
In the next few minutes, I will ask you to think about this question and be prepared to share your answer: THINK ABOUT THREE THINGS THAT PEOPLE YOU KNOW OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN CIRCLE (I.E. OTHER RACES) KNOW ABOUT US, THE FILIPINOS .
WHO ARE THE FILIPINOS IN THE EYES OF OTHER PEOPLE?
With the person next to you, please share your answers.
Let me ask you this question: are your answers to what other races/ethnicities know about us, as Filipinos remarkably or noteworthy? Why or why not?
Your speculations are just as good as mine. There are still some underlying issues that our culture continue to face that somehow do not help us get to where we need to be. In my opinion, the problem with our culture is that we try to be so many things that we do not necessarily need to be. We try to be like the Americans with the way we talk; we try to be like the Japanese with our technology; we try to be as fashionable as the French. When we try to be just like everybody else or somebody else –we slowly become second-class citizens, and then eventually become unremarkable. My thing is, ‘why can’t we be simply Filipino?’
Based from my own observation within my community, the school where I work and within my circle of Filipino friends, there are four significant issues that our young Filipinos who are born here or young immigrants currently face:
Some try to become Americanized – (been there, done that. It does not work) in their choice of language
FILIPINO VALUES - some of them try to adapt western values but forget old-fashioned Filipino values– not that it is wrong but we need to learn the following: respect to elders, faith in God, resiliency, service
IDENTITY CRISIS - some of them do not know who to identify with – shall I identify with the Americans, the Koreans, the Chinese, the African-Americans?
Filipino pride is gone – some try to hide who they are by masking their skin color; by dyeing their hair blond, by putting colored contact lenses
I remember, when I first came to the United States I struggled with those similar issues as well. It took me seven long years to finally come to my senses and realized that until I fully embrace my Filipino identity.
So how did I unpack and unlearn these issues? What was my aha moment? It was when I heard Ariana Huffington talk with a heavy Greek accent that I realize I could actually be deliberately bad at something but the results would be tremendous. I realize I have been trying so hard to be so many things at the same time – which is not making me successful. Prof. Frances Frei of the Harvard Business School said, “if you want to be great at something you have to be bad at something.” In my case, in choosing not to conform to the western society’s predominant way of articulating words and embracing my Filipino thick accent – is bad but because this particular skill continue to derail my effectiveness as a Filipino school leader I chose to shift my focus back to my roots: the Filipino culture. Yes to the eyes of the predominant society, my spoken language may not be at par – which is bad – but because I deliberately chose to be bad at this, I became more focused on what I needed to do best, which is being an effective school leader. When I stopped worrying about my Filipino accent and began to come to terms that no matter what I do, my Filipino accent will always be distinct - I became a first rate of my own self. And when I chose to be great that way I began to fully embrace my culture as a Filipino, I felt more empowered. I felt more special, even extraordinary.
So you ask yourself what is it really about being remarkable? Or better yet how can you or I become a remarkable Filipino? What do we need to do to change the mindset and the limited beliefs that we have?
To understand the concept of remarkability, let us take a look at a very simple, very ordinary Filipino food: the pansit.
My question is how would you make pansit, pretty remarkable?
We can start changing the kind of noodles we use. Do you want to use pancit bihon, rice noodles, vermicelli, pancit canton, thai noodles, bean noodles?
We can also start changing the kind of vegetables you put into it: Do you want to put string beans, flat beans, carrots, cabbage, zucchini, mushroom, beets, bok choy or kale?
We can also start to think about the sahog that we put into it: Do you want to put shrimp, lean beef, chicken, scallops, pork, maybe some chinese sausage, or little neck clams? Do you want to skip the sahog and make it all vegetarian?
Whatever you decide, making the ordinary pansit remarkable is easy – just start changing the status quo (aka your regular pansit made from vermicelli with beans, cabbage and carrots and put something extra) and voila – you will have a pansit that will be remarkable: something that your Filipino friends will be talking about.
Another practical example that I can give you is the way we receive compliments or generally speaking, the way we Filipinos sometimes have a hard time receiving compliments.
So – let us try this:
For 10 seconds – I’d like you to think about this: What are you amazing at?
Now think about – what else could you add to this?
Hold those two thoughts. In 30 seconds, I would like you to share your answers out loud to the person next to you and share what you are amazing at and vice versa.
Now Go!
The reason why I asked you to share what you are great at is because in order to be remarkable you need to be talked about, you need to tell your story – and if you are shy or if you try to hide what you are great at, no one will ever talk about you – unless you start being comfortable with what you are great at and start sharing it.
Because being remarkable is getting remarks about doing things differently; being talked about and affecting people around you. Being considered as THE person, not A person is what it makes you remarkable. Being different without being afraid to be different is remarkable. Being ordinary with a little extra makes the difference between an ordinary and extraordinary; the little extra goes a long way. In fact, that is how great things start to happen, with a sprinkle of a little extra.
So, how do you truly become a remarkable Filipino? Here are five things to remember:
Change the status quo – be different; be bold; be unique. Go and do what others have not done or where others have not gone before. Be unafraid to shake the boat a little bit and rise above the average – because average is the enemy of greatness. And greatness starts with changing what is normal. So, go ahead – be different and be proud of that.
Go first – where no one has ever been before, go first. What no one has ever done before, do it first. What no one has ever said before, say it first. Put a little risk and couple it with faith – you know you will reap some rewards.
And lastly,
Stick to it – once you have built what you could consider as excellent and extraordinary, you gotta have to stick to it. The ability to stick to something that you truly believe will make a difference in the lives of people despite adversities is called stickability or stick-tuitiveness. Think about this, 9 out of 10 small companies die in the first three years of operations and that is because most of these companies do not dare to stick with their vision. Most of these companies are afraid to fail. But if you stick to it and continue to fight the battle, you know you will win – and that is what remarkable companies do; that is what great people do.
Dare to be true - I believe that when we are true to ourselves, in whatever stage we are in our career and responsibilities - the work that we do will become a lot easier. When we are true to ourselves, to our culture, we acknowledge our talents and capabilities better and eventually passing more stories and authentic lessons to our students. When we are true to ourselves, we begin to accept our own differences and weaknesses and eventually earn self-respect. With self-respect, there is pride and appreciation in the work that we do. When we are true to ourselves, we begin to build trust in our own decisions, in our intentions and in our interactions. When there is trust, there is always collaboration and recognition of the daily work that we do. When there is trust, there is joy and the art of our work is almost always incredible.
Own your story – you only get to live once and owning you story means wanting to embrace who you are;. And if you are going to write your story, better make sure that it is something that you would like to last. Because in the end, all you have is your own name you own story – so make it extraordinary.
So if you truly want to be a remarkable Filipino – and be remembered – just remember this: IN ORDER TO BE GREAT, YOU NEED TO BE REMARKABLE. IF YOU WANT TO BE A REMARKABLE FILIPINO, REFUSE TO BE ORDINARY.
Because remarkability is doing something better or extraordinary that adds value to the people around you and making it last.